10/6: Stealing road signs is a family outing.
10/7: Nobody else will touch your favorite cap.
10/8 & 10/9: Your car and its motor are more than ten feet apart.
10/10: The uninvited guests at your family reunion were the SWAT team.
10/11: Your septic tank is the subject of a petition.
10/12: The owner of a restaurant had to ask you to "please move away from the salad bar before you start eating."
10/13: Your local grocery store also has a few pool tables.
10/14: Your favorite pet is edible.
10/15 & 10/16: Your first bra was a Wonderbra.
10/17: You dress to impress no one.
10/18: You've ever thrown up in a squad car.
10/19: The grocery store manager has to ask your husband to quit harassing the lobsters.
10/20: You own a lava lamp more than five feet tall.
10/21: You think "dinner reservations" mean they've seen your wife cooking.
10/22 & 10/23: You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball cap.
10/24: The sweetest music you've ever heard was the sound of a pack of dogs running through a swamp at midnight.
10/25: You have a hook in your shower to hang your hat on.
10/26: You buy your cough medicine at the liquor store.
10/27: Your yard has more than ten ceramic figurines.
10/28: You have to rollup your sleeve and look at your arm to spell your wife's name.
10/29 & 10/30: You own a pair of cutoffs made from double-knit pants.
10/31: You've ever swapped shirts with a scarecrow.
11/1: You quit your job because deer season's fixin' to start.
11/2: Three generations of your family women are currently breast-feeding.
11/3: People have grown eary of telling you that your pants are unzipped.
11/4: You put "horns" on your new bride in your wedding pictures.
11/5 & 11/6: You car's antitheft device is the way it looks.
11/7: The last time you saw your daddy outside, he waspicking up trash, chained to three other guys.
11/8: You've lived the last ten years with shotgun pellets embedded in your rear end.
11/9: You own a pair of knee-high moccasins.
11/10: You think people with grass in their yards are uppity.
11/11: Your high school has a roller derby team.
11/12 & 11/13: The only time you sky-dived, it wasn't on purpose.
11/14: The city council ever discussed your front yard.
11/15: The ATM starts laughing when you walk up to it.