The Month of May
I realize that for a month of not posting this is a shitty post, but in keeping with my desire to pee with the lights on I'm putting the Month of May in YMBARI up. I do actually have some stuff from this past Sunday that I want to post. Perhaps I'll update right after this.

YMBARI

5/3: The trash barrel is the focal point of your landscape theme.
5/4: Your best jacket has an advertisement on the back of it.
5/5: You call your mother-in-law "Talladega" because she is three cars wide.
5/6: You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
5/7-5/8: Your truck has twelve bumpers stickers but no inspection sticker.
5/9: All your wedding photos have someone torn out of them.
5/10: Your mouted deer head sports a baseball cap and sunglasses.
5/11: You've followed the knife and gun show to more than one town.
5/12: You think NO PARKING signs do not apply to you.
5/13: You've ever belched into a karaoke machine.
5/14-5/15: You keep a roll of toilet paper in your golf bag.
5/16: You've ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubbe!" during a piano recital.
5/17: You've ever ordered a bucket of skin from KFC.
5/18: You secretly get your firewood from your neighbor's yard.
5/19: You list "staring" as one of your hobbies.
5/20: Your favorite T-shirt is declared offensive in at least thirteen states.
5/21-5/22: You spend forty hours a week at Wal-Mart, but don't work there.
5/23: All your kids have the middle name Elvis.
5/24: Your knife is sharper than you are.
5/25: Your cap violates a health code.
5/26: Your TV is on twnty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
5/27: You think a "health kick" means smoking light cigarettes and drinking wine coolers.
5/28-5/29: You've ever told a bride, "You clean up pretty good."
5/30: The last time you went swimming they had to use the boat ramp to get you out of the lake.
5/31: You were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth.