Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Almost done....

YMBARI

11/16: You know more than twenty party tricks involving cigarettes.
11/17: Your barber wears rubber gloves.
11/18: You've ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
11/19 & 11/20: People often mistake you for an Elvis impersonator.
11/21: You call anyone who completes the eigth grade "Brains".
11/22: Your car won't start because of the ear wax buildup on the key.
11/23: The local bloodmobile is an ice-cream truck on weekends.
11/24: You've ever carved a turkey with hedge clippers.
11/25: Your fourteen-year-old smokes in front of her kids.
11/26 & 11/27: You've ever been injured playing Ping-Pong.
11/28: You're using your kid's swing set as an engine hoist.
11/29: The air freshener in your truckin your truck smells better than your spouse.
11/30: Your retirement plans include getting your own place.
12/1: You think "home security" means taking the front steps to your trailer with you when you leave the house.
12/2: You've ever had a romantic encounter on a riding mower.
12/3 & 12/4: There is afour-wheeler parked in your bedroom.
12/5: You and six of your neighbors split a cable bill.
12/6: Your voice changed while you were still in second grade.
12/7: You pawned your grandfather's pocket watch because you needed beer money for the weekend.
12/8: You've ever made a cup of coffee with a welding torch.
12/9: You've ever framed an Auto Trader cover.
12/10 & 12/11: Your father-in-law said you had no class so you spit at him.
12/12: More than one person at your class reunion was on a weekend pass.
12/13: You eat cotton candy more than three times a week.
12/14: Your idea of water conservation is moving your Saturday night bat to every other Saturday night.
12/15: You've ever worn anything tie-dyed to a job interview.
12/16: You've ever been arrested for loitering.
12/17 & 12/18: You move to another state so you can buy beer on Sundays.
12/19: You've ever lit a cigarette with an arc welder.
12/20: A screwdriver is required to open the trunk of your car.
12/21: You got your picture taken on Santa's knee, but your kids didn't.
12/22: Directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road."
12/23: The Santa Claus at your mall smokes while he is working.
12/24 & 12/25: Your cousin stood up at Christmas dinner and shouted, "All ya'll can kiss my ass!"
12/26: Your pastor had to deliver a sermon titled "Stealing the donkey from the church nativity scene is wrong."
12/27: You'd taken three pregnancy tests before you ever took a driving test.
12/28: You were married in a Laundromat.

Just in case anyone was wondering, Ride the Lightning and other early Metallica are not the best things to listen to if you want to calm anger.

DIE!
DIE!
DIE!
DIE!
DIE!